The Sunday Spin

What drives us as human beings? While it’s different for each individual person, two universal things drive the human race: money, and the need for recognition. I believe that these are of utmost importance to everybody-whether you are conscious of it or not. Both of these “needs” are trivially sought after to fulfill our egos. However, the paradox is that while we believe these two things will make us happy and fulfill the ego, the ego can never truly be satisfied. The ego is like a hot fire that always needs more logs thrown on it in order to keep it burning. It never stops and it always wants/needs more.

Let’s start with money. Money allows us to buy things, and pragmatically speaking, it is necessary to fulfill our basic needs. We need it to pay our bills, to feed ourselves (and our families). However, money is also a faculty that we use to show others that we are, “important.” People strive to make money to fulfill the insatiable creature that lives within all of us: our ego. The ego wants to feel important, it wants to be, or feel, recognized and valuable. Money is a seemingly easy way to meet the demands our ego. However, the ego can never truly be fulfilled. If you make some money, it wants more money; if you get some success, it wants more success. The ego can never really be fulfilled: it always wants more, bigger, better etc. I always say that money will not necessarily make me happy, but without it I will surely not be content. When money is used to fulfill the ego, and define a person, it will never lead to happiness. However, if a person is able to make the distinction between him or herself and money, it can aid in one’s pursuit of happiness.

Recognition is a huge driving force for us as human beings. Recognition can be anything from your boss patting you on the back because you did a great job that day, to a beautiful woman (or man) showing you love. A basic instinct is our sex drive: love is an affirmation of oneself in another. Love and sex are completely disparate entities, but they both fuel our need to be recognized. We all need sex. It is healthy and completely natural. Sometime people get mixed up and mistakenly believe that love and sex are interchangeable. They are different in a myriad of ways. Like I said, love is an affirmation of oneself in another person. Love involves sex, but sex does not necessarily involve love. Love for another reaffirms everything that you stand for: your principles, values, tastes etc. Sex alone does not do that. The ego in its constant drive to be defined, gain and conquer can trick people into believing that sex is love. A lot of people grapple onto a partner because of what they believe it says about them. If you are with a beautiful partner then other people must thing that you are important, wealthy good looking (the list goes on and on). Recognition through another person will never make a person happy. It may fulfill their ego (for a short while), but it will never lead to long lasting happiness. I think that true love for another is the only way to find long lasting happiness. But hey, what the hell do I know.

 

D. Spinelli